Where do I belong?

Have you ever felt like you don't belong? Like, wherever you go, you aren't at home? You thought you knew where you were supposed to be but now you aren't so sure. You walk around in a world where everyone seems to know where they are going. But you feel lost. You don't know what your map looks like. It is scribbled and blurred and unreadable.

I've made decisions. But I am contemplating change. Am I right? Or am I wrong? What is my purpose? What is my ambition? I need a holy ambition. I haven't found one. What does God want me to do??

What do you want from me God!? I want to do Your will but I am so confused and unsure. Decisions have to be made though. I've gone in too deep to get out. Or have I? What can I do to get out of this mess? Is it even a mess? I don't feel passionate anymore.

I'm not happy where I am. I'm not happy with what I'm doing. Every single say I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I don't like my school and I'm beginning to be unsure about my major. Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? I enjoy this subject of my major but do I really want to be doing this for the rest of my life? Stuck in a lab, secluded from the world, and trying things over and over with possibly a huge amount of failures before I get to where I want to be?

Or do I want to do what I love most. Do I want to write? Can I make that into a career? Is it possible? Is it probable? Is it wise? When I think about that...when I think of possibly writing plays or poetry or fiction or something of that sort...for the rest of my life...it makes me smile. It makes me get excited. What if I wrote for a magazine? What if I was an editor? What if I blogged for a living? What if I wrote plays or screenplays? That would be thrilling...

But what if I get there and think the same thing I thought of this choice? What if I am just a recipe for failure? What if college is just not for me. What if...that's all I can ask.

So many questions. I want answers! HELP. I just want to go in a dark room all alone and PRAY!!! For weeks and weeks...until I hear .. Until I figure it out. Really, I just want to know God and be near Him. That is my One goal and purpose. How do I incorporate that into my life? How?