The Risk

I have been praying a lot lately, I’m not just saying that to say that to say that...or impress anyone, or convince people that God made the decisions I am making. I really have been praying because I really want God to be first in my life. I want Him to be the focus of my life and every choice I make to be made around Him. At first I was frustrated because I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was reading my Bible every single day and praying, but I was irritated because I still felt so far away. During Spring Break I was so confused as to what I was supposed to do. 

For the past couple months I’ve been in the process of giving myself back to God. He is so amazing and incredible and deserves to be praised. I am in awe of Him. How could He love someone such as me? How could He die for me and all of my sins? I can hardly comprehend it all. I've realized I’ve been taking things for granted lately. Every single day is a gift from God. I have been enjoying myself more because I’ve been appreciating the little things and the big things. I've realized how blessed I am. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about risks. I have always hated them. This is because I don't like to make mistakes or have regrets. But really, every single day is a risk right? Every day I have a chance of breathing my last. I never know what will happen. God has His own plan and I am NEVER in control. This is something I have to get used to. I have to trust Him. I think that is something that He wants me to learn. I have to have faith.

Living every day by just going through the motions isn’t cutting it anymore. I don’t know when I could die. I don’t know if I will even finish typing this. But I don’t think I should be wasting time anymore.I waste time so much. I am such a procrastinator. And I don’t like taking risks because I am always scared. Let me repeat. I am ALWAYS scared. But I shouldn’t be afraid. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, and of love, and a sound mind. With God I can do all things and if I trust in Him, there is no reason to be afraid anymore. I can now step out on my waves in this storm of a life that I am so afraid of and take a chance. I don't want to die wondering what would have happened if...

No Normal Day

Today is a wonderful day. Some people may argue with that statement. Today I had to take a test...or today I had to get up early...or today has just been crappy...or today is just a normal boring day. No day is normal. When we go throughout our day we usually don't think about God. We don't think about what He's done and what He's created. But He's there. We take things for granted...like our kidneys. The only people who really think about their kidneys are people who have something wrong with their kidney. We take it for granted...as well as say our liver or our lungs. 
You drive down the highway at 70 miles per hour only a few feet away from cars who are going just as fast in the opposite direction as you; just like always. Someone would only have to jerk or hit there arm for you to be dead. Ever think about that? No day is normal because it could be our last. We don't know what will happen. Only God does. We are never in control. He is. Scary eh? Every day is a risk. We don't know what will happen. But we still have free will. We get to choose how we live. Will we take these days for granted? We don't even deserve these amazing days, but Gods grace gives them to us. Today is no normal day. Today is amazing. 

My One Day Without Shoes

Yesterday, April 5th, was TOMS One Day Without Shoes. If you haven't heard of TOMS, they are a company that sells shoes and for every pair of shoes you buy, another pair goes to a child in need. The company began when Blake Mycoskie went to Argentina in 2006 and realized that most children didn't own a pair of shoes and couldn't afford them. Blake returned later that year to Argentina with 10,000 pairs of shoes that were made possible by TOMS customers. Most children in developing countries grow up without shoes and their families cannot afford them. Soil transmitted diseases are a leading cause of disease in these countries which penetrates the skin through bare feet and this could be prevented simply by wearing shoes. Also, being barefoot can also cause cuts and sores that can later become infected. Schools in these areas sometimes don't allow children to attend school if they do not wear shoes, this prevents most children from receiving the education that they need.

One Day without Shoes is an event that TOMS does every year to spread the word about this need for shoes and to spread the word about TOMS. Yesterday I went one day without shoes for the first time. I had been spreading the word through Facebook about the event and I had received different reactions from different people. Some people were all for it and wanted to do it as well. Others thought it was a good cause but they weren't going barefoot -- no way. Still others thought TOMS shoes was a joke and that their shoes didn't help kids because they weren't sturdy and they thought it was funny that the company told people how terrible it was to go without shoes and then asked the world to do it for a day. I read all of these things.

I have the fault of really caring what other people think; so much that I can put my worth in other people's opinions of me or what I'm doing. Usually when I make a decision this is the first thing that pops into my mind: what will people think of me? It is one of the greatest fears that I have. There is no need to lecture me. I know...I know...don't give into peer pressure...blah, blah, blah. It's not that I consciously even think about it, it just happens. It is something that I have been working on lately. So while reading these comments I was already fighting back these thoughts.

First of all, going barefoot for one day will not do anything terrible to your feet. I mean really, what are people going to do in that day? Go climb mount everest? The worst people could do is probably feel uncomfortable and perhaps cut their foot or get a blister. You aren't going to get a soil transmitted disease and you aren't going to die from going without shoes for ONE day. Those thoughts are ridiculous.

This was actually a bigger deal to me than most people thought. You see, one of my biggest insecurities is my feet. I hate them. They are big, long, thin, and flat and I find them atrocious. This is one reason I almost never wear sandals. I just cover them up with shoes. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I love shoes. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I am so passionate about this company and what they are doing. I'm not sure. I just have a compassionate heart.

Going throughout the day yesterday, people stared...at my feet. I believe my face was probably flushed for most of the day because of the thoughts that were going through my mind. I only saw one person during that entire day that was barefoot like me. On the plus side, it started up conversations. A girl in one of my classes was asking me where my shoes were. I asked her if she had ever heard of TOMS shoes and she said no. So I began to tell her about the company and then the one day without shoes event. She said that was really cool and by the end of our conversation she took off her shoes with me and said she was going to go the rest of the day barefoot. Later that day I had a conversation with the custodian in one of the buildings. She had heard of one day without shoes. Last year she was a custodian for the Family and Consumer Science building and the whole department went without shoes and she did it too for as much of the day as she could, considering her job.

Overall it was a very interesting day, and one that I will remember forever. I know I will continue to participate in One Day Without Shoes for years to come.